i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
