No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
