i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I cockslap morals
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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