They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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