If i come over, it means nothing
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
