Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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