i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
