i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
