omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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