sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
