Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
