If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
