i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
