no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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