Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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