I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
