I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
