I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
