Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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