Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
