Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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