there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
