I will die if light touches me.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This baby is an asshole
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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