May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
