very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
