He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
