they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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