is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
not ubering you a puppy
I think my moral compass just broke
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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