i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You dont lie about slip and slides
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
