Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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