Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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