Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
