sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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