I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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