garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
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