I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he thought i was a dude.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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