Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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