why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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