I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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