He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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