just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
