No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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