Ambien. No doubt about it.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
