"it" just moved
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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