Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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