Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he thought i was a dude.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
