I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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