sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
