Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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