It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
