you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
