he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
