who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
